Do you find yourself trapped in this constant anxious, stressed out state that has your nerves standing on end and your belly constantly doing jittery flip flops? Unfortunately, you are not alone. Many Americans struggle to handle the day to day life challenges and typically do not know how to handle the rush of emotions and pressures that are thrown at us every day. For women, this anxiety is even turned up a notch with the enormous amount of daily responsibilities on our plates. Raising children, running errands, getting your child to dance, football, girl scouts, birthday parties, slumber parties, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, WORK! The list is endless, and the pressure can take down any strong woman if they are not equipped to handle the bandwidth of responsibilities.
Many times, in my personal life and career my “to do” list always seemed to get longer, not shorter. The long work weeks with excessive hours and the responsibilities to my family and home became exhausting until I acquired these simple steps to manage my time, my stress level, and my attitude.
Unfortunately, when we become stressed or anxious, most people around us notice. Sometimes we wear our emotions on our sleeve and take out our stress levels on those around us because our attitude is suffering from overload. Our attitude towards life is key to handling all of life’s challenges and how we manage our time is important to handling the amount of responsibilities on our daily task list.
Here are 10 key practices to helping you resolve daily attitude anxiety:
- The phrase, “it’s all in the attitude”, is not just a phrase but the truth. Our attitude we choose each morning on how to face the day is key to managing your mindset and key to handling the challenges or issues that are thrown at you every day. Life is going to throw obstacles at you your entire life, but it is how your attitude towards those obstacles that make all the difference. If I have a crappy attitude, I will have a negative mindset when dealing with issues. And when you have a negative perspective on life, most often you are not going to come with a mindset to solve the problem. Adopting a positive mindset allows you to find solutions, opportunities, alternatives. Choosing to start your day, every day, with a positive mindset takes practice, but will help you approach life differently and generate solutions to resolve life’s challenges every day.
- Plan out your day in advance – managing your calendar is one of the most important tasks you can do to stay organized. Sharing your calendar with your family also helps everyone stay on the same page. Frustration and anxiety start when we miss an appointment or forget about dinner plans. Knowing what your day is going to bring by reviewing your calendar the night before is critical to building your mindset for the day you are about to face. Having your day lined out by leveraging technology is one of the quickest and easiest ways to keep your head above water. It also allows you to share tasks with your family when your plate becomes too full. I highly encourage sharing calendars so that communication can stay on point. Using digital technology also allows for reminders so you do not miss a thing. Planning is a key role in managing your mindset and being prepared to take on the day, eliminating unwanted surprises.
- Learn to say “No”. This goes hand in hand with your calendar usage. It also allows for you to say “No”. If you do not have room on your calendar, do not say yes, because it usually ends up causing you more stress and anxiety. Saying yes when you do not have time just puts more pressure on you and may draw attention from something more important, life your family. It is ok to say no when your plate is full. Your attitude will thank you for it.
- Hold family meetings, even if it is just two of you. Line out the chore schedule for the week so that everyone knows their role. Chores, cooking, laundry, etc. can be extremely time consuming especially after a long day of work. Sharing chores, especially with children, helps build necessary life skills, improves activity, teamwork, responsibility, awareness to household living, while alleviating what is on your plate. Being a Mom does not mean doing everything yourself.
- Start recognizing your emotions if you have not already. Notice when you are irritable or being snarky to others. Notice when you feel sluggish, anxious, or unmotivated. Stop in the moment when you recognize an unwanted emotion. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth 3 times to calm yourself. Then repeat this: I am strong, I can do this, I control my emotions. Once you are aware of the unwanted emotion, change your physical state. If you are sitting down, stand up. If you are lying down, walk around. Ask to do something for someone else to get out of your head and into your body. Being aware of your emotions is a key step to managing them.
- Self-talk. Most researchers talk about the “inner critic” or “inner voice” which is our self-talk. Have you ever paid attention to what your self-talk is telling you? Is it negative? Positive? Are you speaking highly of yourself or constantly saying you are not good enough? Listen, we are all different and each of us possesses unique skills from the rest. We all matter, and we are all worthy. We are unique which is the most powerful piece about each of us. Harness your differences from others and use them to influence people to see the positive in life rather than the constant negative. What you tell yourself everyday matters. If you tell yourself you cannot, you will not. If you think you are not good enough, you will not be. Change your self-talk by putting messages on your mirror, on the refrigerator, your car, or wherever you will see the positive messaging. Train your mind to be kinder to yourself and always promote yourself in a positive light so you can love yourself.
- Take 2 hours each week to work on yourself and your own personal development. When we stop learning, we get bored, complacent, unmotivated. There are millions of things to learn and the intranet is a huge resource to do so. Learning new things motivates the mind and spirit. Working to become the best possible version of ourselves is vital to our personal growth and overall lifetime happiness. Read a book, take an online course, learn more about yourself, take a fitness challenge, whatever it is, do it for YOU! Your dedication to your personal journey will help you re-channel unwanted emotions and help you build a positive powerful mindset.
- Commit to a healthier lifestyle. What we put in our body impacts our overall health and mental state. Many studies have proven that not receiving proper nourishment can affect the way we feel, the way we behave, our motivation, and our sleep among many other affects. Incorporating whole foods and activity in your life will play a contributing factor to your overall mindset and energy needed to get through the day.
- Choose to handle your day with grace, compassion, and kindness so others around you do not feel the wrath of your path. We all have bad days but taking out our bad day on those around us is not fair to them. People remember words said to them. It is an experience, so it sticks and most carry hurtful phrases, words, experience with them. What we say to people now will affect them for the rest of their lives. Be careful how you spread your attitude each day when you are faced with pressure.
- Do better, be better, treat people better. If you live with this motto, it will truly impact how you treat others. We live in a time where mindfulness, perceptiveness, and thoughtfulness are a lost quality in many people. It truly is our choice how we treat each other. It is a choice to have a crappy or happy attitude. The success of our relationships with family, friends, our children, our coworkers depends on our internal attitude and mindset. When we blow our top, shout out a snarky comment, or belittle someone, it is a choice. So right now, in this moment, you can choose to do better, be better, and treat people better. Choosing this mindset, will help change your ability to handle life and what it throws at you. It will help you build better relationships and help you deal with the constant anxieties and pressures of life.